Dude Looks Like A Lady
by Secretlyademigodinthetardis
Summary: Season 9 AU(ish). Castiel returns to the bunker, and finds out that Dean and Sam are still fighting. They go on a case, but find something unexpected that changes what they know about themselves - and how Dean and Castiel see one another. Unbeta'd. Warning: Slow build DESTIEL, Fem! versions will make an appearance, M for smut and swearing. Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I had the idea when I was at work yesterday, and I got real pissed because all I could do was plan it in my head and not actually write it. So I wrote out a draft last night and I'm uploading it today. But I'm planning on updating this every Monday, let's hope I stick to that!**

**EDIT: realised I called Gadreel 'Ezekiel'. Changed it, sorry**

* * *

Chapter 1

Dean lay in his room, staring at the ceiling and thinking about nothing in particular. He was bored out of his skull, but he knew Sam was in the kitchen eating, so he couldn't go and fetch the long-desired beer he'd been craving.

_Frigging douchebag brother_, he thought to himself, scowling at the ceiling.

Finally, he heard footsteps and then the door of Sam's room opening and closing. Dean raced to the kitchen, only to find that there was only a single beer left in the fridge, courtesy of Sam.

"Son of a bitch!" he whined, grabbing the bottle.

*knock knock*

The muffled knocks rang through the silent bunker. Dean looked up at the door in shock and apprehension, condensation from the cold beer bottle running over his fingers unheeded.

*knock knock*

Dean grabbed the nearest weapon – an iron bat, of all things – and cautiously made his way up the stairs to the door. Standing to the side of the doorframe, so that the mysterious knocker wouldn't see him, he flung the door open and prepared to swing. When nothing happened, he peered around.

"Cas?"

"Dean?"

The two stared at one another before Dean realised that the angel was soaked – it was pouring with rain outside.

"Shit, sorry dude, come in!"

"Thank you Dean"

Castiel entered the bunker nervously. He and Dean had not seen one another since Dean had left to 'do his own thing', and Castiel had assumed he would only find Sam at the bunker. They silently walked back down to the kitchen, Castiel making an attempt to pat himself dry with a towel that lay beside the door. Dean sat at the table, the angel opposite him. Castiel was the first to speak.

"So –"

"I'm sorry"

"What?" Castiel had not been expecting that.

"I said I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being a dick, I'm sorry for kicking you out, I'm sorry for ditching you and not checking to see if you were okay. I'm a shit friend and a shit person, and I'm sorry." Dean buried his head in his hands. Castiel leaned forward, concerned.

"Dean, what's happened?"

Dean told him everything. Arguing with Sam, Crowley, the Mark of Cain, arguing with Sam, Kevin's ghost, arguing with Sam, the Ghostfacers, arguing with Sam, how shitty everything was….and Castiel listened. When Dean was done, he rose, looking every inch the warrior of God that he had first appeared as to Dean.

"You and I are going to talk to your brother"

* * *

Sam looked up as Castiel stormed in, dragging a reluctant Dean behind him. Dean shot him an apologetic look – the only non-wary expression Sam had gotten from his brother in a while – and then looked nervously at Castiel.

"Hello Sam. Dean has told me all that transpired after I left. I had thought that you two, of all people, would be able to maintain a semblance of a healthy - if unnaturally co-dependent – relationship with one another despite what has occurred. It appears I was wrong."

Sam and Dean stared at Castiel, refusing to even look at one another. The angel took this as a sign to continue.

"Sam, it is unfortunate that Dean disregarded your wish to die and allowed Gadreel to possess you. Yes, he did so for what are, by and large, selfish reasons. However, he did it out of love for you. And while there were negative effects that could have been prevented had Dean not done this, it saved your life. And much would still have happened as it did – Metatron having Kevin killed, for one."

Sam went to speak, but Castiel silenced him with a piercing blue-eyed glare.

"Dean. What you did in regards to Sam was thoughtless and yes, selfish. I understand why you did it, however I also understand your brother's anger. You need to accept this fact and not insist that you are always right when it comes to these matters.  
In short, what I am trying to say is this; Sam, you are alive, get over it. Dean, you make bad choices sometimes, kindly accept this and stop hurting yourself and those you love because of it. I know you two will take a while, but please make the first step in rebuilding your relationship as brothers instead of being petty and ignoring one another."

The two brothers stared at the angel, who now looked rather embarrassed at his outburst. Dean looked at Sam, who sighed and stood up. Dean watched him uncertainly, and Sam ran a hand through his long hair before simply holding out one hand. Dean rose, and the two shook hands as Castiel looked on. Dean dropped his gaze to his feet.

"Sorry Sammy. I fucked up. I always fuck up, and I'lll try to fuck up less. Just…don't abandon me. Please."

And Sam simply said "It's okay, Dean. I'm still kinda pissed, but I wouldn't abandon you"

There was a long pause as the three men avoided one another's gaze, uncomfortable with the amount of emotional baring that had just transpired. Castiel spoke up.

"The reason I came here in the first place, Dean, is because I have found a hunt."

The Winchesters immediately looked at him, temporarily forgetting everything else and back in 'hunting mode'.

"What kind?" Sam asked. Castiel frowned.

"I'm not sure. In Florida, there is a rather strange motel. People who stay in one particular room there have been known to vanish without a trace, even when the room is locked. People say the room is cursed, and no one stays in that room anymore."

Dean frowned.

"That's pretty weird. Worth checking out?" He asked Sam, who shrugged.

"Well, we're no closer to being able to kill Abbadon and restore Heaven, so we may as well."

Castiel smiled, and it suddenly hit Dean where he had agreed to go.

"Seriously, Florida? That's like, old people central!"

* * *

**AN: Let me know your thoughts and stuff because they motivate me to actually write shit. I'm alternating between this and other fics so that's why I'm only going to update this once a week instead of more often (sorry).**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Here's Chapter 2! Plot and stuff starting to pick up!**

**Also, - I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thinks so. They really need a good telling off PLEASE.**

* * *

Chapter 2

Within half an hour, the Winchesters were packed and loaded into the Impala. After a moment's awkwardness, Sam slid into the backseat for once. Castiel and Dean glanced at one another, and Castiel climbed into the front passenger seat. Dean automatically flipped on the music – nothing like Led Zeppelin to kill the tension in the car.

Two days later, they were in Florida. Dean had been in favour of driving the 23 hours it took to get there non-stop, but Castiel had narrowed his eyes, and Sam had given a complete bitchface, and Dean had caved far too easily.

Just because he was not ready to deal with the shitstorm those two would have given him.

The motel they had stayed at was pretty shitty, as far as motels were concerned. None of them had a clue which state they were in by that point, and while Castiel didn't need sleep, Dean had insisted they book a room which catered to three people. He ignored the pointed look the receptionist gave him and Castiel as they booked. Stupid angel still hadn't quite grasped the whole 'personal space' thing, and Dean was getting real sick of the way his stomach twisted into knots every damn time Castiel got slightly too close.

Dean didn't even spend much time asleep that night, as usual. He got out his battered copy of Slaughterhouse Five and dove in, ignoring the insanely loud snores from Sam and the low noise of the TV that Castiel was watching because the guy was so damn perfect he didn't even need sleep.

Finally, Dean had been unable to bear it anymore and had joined Castiel on the motel room's couch, watching some stupid animal documentary.

After a few minutes, Castiel spoke.

"I do hope you and Sam are able to be as close as you once were, Dean. You are….different, without that in your life."

"Yeah well, you know us, Cas. About as stubborn as you are. And I don't exactly deserve forgiveness for all the shit I've done. Least of all from you two. So I'm not surprised Sammy still hates me, I'm just shocked you don't either."

There was a silence as Castiel took his words in, rolling them around that head of his before answering in a low voice.

"Dean, I don't know how many times we must have this conversation. I am tired of trying to convince you that you deserve forgiveness, that you are a worthy human being. Please accept the fact that I have faith in you, and that you deserve a lot better than the hand that life has dealt you."

Dean had nothing to say in response to this, so he simply settled back into the couch beside Castiel, and if he was slightly closer than normal, neither said anything.

He vaguely remembered falling asleep and _oh shit his head had drooped onto Cas' shoulder._

But when he woke up the next morning, he was in a creaky bed, with springs that dug into his back painfully.

So maybe it had been a dream.

* * *

Florida was hot and humid, and Dean hated it. It was like everywhere he looked, there was an old person either on a zimmerframe or a frickin' motorscooter.

"So, where's this motel?" he asked. Castiel sat in the backseat this time, quietly observing the surrounding area with an air of vague interest.

"It should be on the next left turn."

Dean pulled into the lot of an old motel. It had exactly the same layout as every other motel they'd ever been in, and Dean felt almost bored. He was pretty sure this hunt was a bust – come on, random disappearances in _Florida?_ – but he was humouring Castiel, and God knows he needed something to get him out of the bunker.

The three of them checked in, and where Dean would have cared that Castiel was standing too close, he didn't anymore. He didn't know why. Maybe he'd lost the ability to care about that kind of crap. Maybe he kind of liked the proximity.

Whatever.

The room was dingy and small, with absolutely nothing to make it stand out as different. One queen sized bed, one single, a couch that had far too many stains on it for Dean to not be suspicious, and a TV with a cracked screen. Dean flopped onto the queen, and it felt exactly like every single motel bed he'd ever slept on – worn, abused, slightly smelly, and at least two springs digging into him.

Perfect.

Dean missed his memory foam.

Sam sat on the single bed, avoiding looking at where his brother lay. He pulled out the EMF reader, and walked around the room listening for any activity. Castiel stood in place, examining his surroundings with his head tilted to one side. He looked over at a cupboard in the corner of the room before striding over. Dean sat up as Castiel peered at the cupboard door, frowning in confusion.

"Cas? What is it?"

"This door…it feels….strange."

"Strange? How?"

"I'm not sure."

"Well, gee, that's helpful," Dean snapped, lying back down. Castiel glared at him.

"I can't define it, Dean. All I know is that this door should not be here. It does not resonate with the room," Castiel retorted, aggravated. Sam looked at the pair of them apprehensively.

"Well, open it then!" Dean said as he stood up and walked over to the door.

"Dean, I don't think –"

Dean opened the door.

It was a cupboard. A mop handle toppled out and clattered to the floor. The three men stared down at the mop in confusion, before Dean turned to Castiel.

"If we came all the way to Florida for a mop, you're on garbage duty for a month."

* * *

Two hours later, it was 9pm. Dean entered the motel room, kicking the door shut behind him, and placed three paper bags on the table.

"I bought dinner!"

Sam and Castiel looked up. Castiel was on the couch, after watching the grainy images on the television absently, while Sam had been flipping a coin over and over. They walked over to the table and picked at the bags there. Castiel sighed through his nose.

"Dean, you know I do not-"

"Require food, yadda yadda yadda, I know. But dude, just eat." Dean sat down forcefully and began tearing into a cheeseburger. Castiel and Sam looked at one another before following suit.

There was a sudden thump. All three of them, as one man, looked at the cupboard door.

There was another thump.

Then voices, muffled by the plywood that the door was made of. Dean, Sam and Castiel crept closer to the door, each one gripping a knife or gun.

"Sam, I swear, if you do not stop standing on my damn foot I'm going to punch you so hard –"

"Yeah, like you could even reach that high!"

"That's _it_!"

A third voice joined in.

"Please stop, can we just focus on getting-"

A scuffle, and Dean was unable to take it anymore. He flung the door open, and three women fell out, landing in a heap on the floor in a tangle of limbs. Dean finally found his voice.

"The hell?"

They looked up, and one spoke.

"Son of a bitch."

* * *

**AN: Kind of short, but I didn't have the amount of time I wanted to spend on this, and I'm going out later because St Patrick's Day and that's the time I would have spent on this. Sorry.**

**Let me know any thoughts you have!**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I'm really fucking tired, this chapter is probably shitty. I'm going to edit it tomorrow and add my review responses at the bottom, but for now here you go. I just wanted to post it by the end of today because I said I would. So yeah, here you go! If you notice anything wrong just tell me.**

* * *

Chapter 3

The six of them stared at one another in shock for a few moments before Dean recovered his senses.

"Alright, who or what the fuck are you?" he growled, aiming his gun. The woman in the middle – tall, short blonde hair, green eyes, leather jacket, denim shorts, and combat boots, stood up, hands raised.

"Woah, dude, calm down. Who the hell are you?" She demanded, before whipping out a gun and aiming for him faster than Dean could blink. Which he did pretty quickly, considering her gun was almost an exact replica of his.

"What the fuck?"

Meanwhile, the other two women had stood up slowly, and the tallest one – long brown hair, hazel eyes, jeans and a fuckton of plaid – raised her hands in a placating gesture.

"I think everyone here needs to calm the fuck down. Right now, before we all end up killing each other."

Sam and Castiel had flanked Dean, the younger Winchester aiming his gun, too. However, Castiel was gazing at the third woman with his head tilted to one side and his eyes widening as hers did. She finally spoke, sounding intrigued.

"Is what's happening….what I think is happening?"

Castiel shrugged.

"It would appear so."

Dean looked at the angel.

"Cas? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Wait, Cas? But….she's Cas." The first woman spoke, pointing at the one who had spoken to Castiel. "Castielle. Former angel of the Lord."

Sam almost dropped his gun.

"Wait a second…." He said slowly, terrifyingly in sync with the tallest woman. "Does that mean….Cas? Am I getting this right?"

Castiel nodded, not really trusting himself to speak.

Dean was still confused, and it appeared the first woman was too.

"What's happening? I am not putting my gun down until I get some goddamn answers!"

"Deanna," 'Castielle' said, and Dean jolted, "They're…us. The male versions, at least."

Everyone in the room stared at her.

"You're fucking with me." 'Deanna' said flatly.

"I assure you, she is not," Castiel said forcefully. "Having looked into her thoughts, I can confirm what she says. My name is Castiel, angel of the Lord. These two men are Dean and Sam Winchester, the men who stopped the Apocalyse."

This time, Sam really did drop his gun.

* * *

Dean and….Deanna took some convincing, but soon enough the six of them were sat in the motel room, sipping beers and trying to work out exactly what was going on. Sam had lost his shit at the thought of having a twin nerd to geek out with, and now the two of them were sat in the corner exchanging stories. Dean didn't have the heart to pull Sam away (he looked happier than he had in freaking _months_) and so it was him, Castiel, Deanna, and Castielle.

Deanna was trying not to freak out.

Dean was freaking out.

"Like, what the fuck, Cas?" He said. Every ten seconds. He knew it was pissing them off, but he honestly couldn't help it. He'd seen some weird shit, but this really took the pie. "Why does this shit always happen to us? Did you know this was what was going on when you dragged us out here?"

Castiel looked insulted.

"Dean, I told you as much as I knew at that point in time. This is as much of a surprise to me as it is to you. Please calm down and listen."

And Dean did.

"As much as I can surmise, we," Castielle gestured towards herself and Deanna, "Are from an alternate reality where, obviously, we have flipped genders and sexes. However, from what Castiel and I have been able to gather –" her face twisted as she said Castiel's name, like it sounded strange referring to what was essentially herself in the third person "-our timeline is a couple of years ahead of yours."

"So…you're like Future Girl Us?"

She sighed, and it reminded Dean so strongly of Castiel that – wait, it _was_ Castiel. Chick Castiel. Castielle.

Whatever.

"This is too fucking weird." Deanna declared. Dean snorted.

"You said it, sister."

Without speaking, Deanna lifted a fist, and Dean allowed his to bump against it. Castiel and Castielle smirked.

"What?!" the blonde hunters demanded simultaneously, causing the other two to start laughing. Deanna scowled and jabbed her finger at Castielle.

"Whatever. You're telling me later."

"I'm sure I am," Castielle gave an affectionate smile, and the two women leaned in and kissed one another. Dean froze.

"Wait. What? Are you….are….what?" He asked helplessly. Deanna turned to look at him, bemused, and Castielle looked at her male counterpart. Castiel looked terrified.

"Um…yes?" Deanna replied hesitantly. Dean took a huge swig of beer and refused to look at Castiel. The chick version of himself got to be in a great relationship with the angel, and her younger sibling actually _liked_ her.

Go fucking figure.

"I need some air," was all he said before stepping outside. However, he was soon accompanied by Deanna.

"We need to talk, Dean."

He let out a bitter laugh. "You sound just like he does, you know?"

"Side effect of dating _her_," She jabbed a thumb over her shoulder. "You know she's mortal, right?"

Dean forgot his own sour mood and looked at her. "She's what?"

"Yeah. Angels went back to Heaven and…she wanted to be here."

Now Dean was angry.

"You let her do that?!"

Deanna glared at him, and he could tell she knew exactly what he was thinking, because she'd thought it too.

"I couldn't stop her, and if she'd gone back up there…if he goes back to Heaven with the other angels, you'll never see him again. They'll kill him. They don't know how to forgive him, they don't know him like you do even though you've only had him for what must be the blink of an eye to them. They don't know him, because you changed him. You've made him human, no matter how much Grace he has. And they don't understand. So they'll kill him."

Dean's fist tightened around the neck of his bottle.

"That won't happen here. That's in your timeline. He's happy as an angel, I want him to be happy."

Deanna shrugged.

"I'm just telling you the facts, dude. Up to you what you do with them, but it's our funeral."

And she walked back indoors.

* * *

The three women had ordered another room to sleep in, and the next morning the plus sized Team Free Will was ready to roll.

"Wait, what are we doing?" Dean asked Sam, who was practically bouncing with excitement.

"Sam – Other Me, she's called Samantha but likes Sam – Cas, Castielle and I agreed that this was probably the work of a real powerful witch. Cas used his mojo on the door, and he's found a trace of it now he knew what to look for," Sam babbled. "Oh, and Castielle's human, did you know?"

"Yeah, I knew."

Sam pursed his lips at his big brother. After talking with Samantha, he was starting to forgive him, and wanting to rebuild what they had – with less toxicity. He just wished Dean didn't cut himself off so damn much.

"And? They're together? What do you think that means?"

"It means everyone else gets to be happy except for me. As usual. Are we done?" Dean snapped, and stormed out the room to the Impala.

Ah.

Deanna had realised the problem too.

"How the fuck are we gonna fit?"

* * *

**AN: Definitely editing, this chapter feels really rushed and shit.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Okay, so I didn't improve Chapter 3. Sorry. I got distracted by my other fics. And Twist and Shout, which I made the mistake of rereading. **

**Anywhore, hope this chapter doesn't suck a buttload, even though it's bloody short. **

**Review responses at the bottom**

**EDIT: The fuck is wrong with me I had this titled "Chapter 3".**

**I changed it, sorry I'm a dweeb**

* * *

Chapter 4

The Impala had never been so full. Dean sat at the steering wheel, Deanna next to him and Castielle next to her, by the window and holding Deanna's hand. Sam, Samantha and Castiel sat in the back awkwardly.

The awkward silence as they hit the road for the bunker lasted all for a minute before Dean sighed loudly through his nose. Everyone in the car looked at him, and he shrugged.

Five more minutes passed.

Dean couldn't take it anymore.

"You know what? I got the best music for this," he said, rummaging around one handed in the box that was in the footwell for his newly-bought (and well loathed) iPod. Deanna made a grab for it.

"I know what you're looking for you. You drive, I'll find it." They winked at each other before she found the object in question, and pulled it out triumphantly.

"Ha!"

"What is it?" Sam asked curiously.

"That's for us to know and for you to find out, Sammy," she said, and connected the iPod, selecting a playlist.

There was silence for a beat, and then the car was filled with the sound of Steven Tyler's screeching vocals.

_DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY….._

"Are you freaking serious?!" Sam and Samantha wore identical bitchfaces, while Castiel looked entirely nonplussed. Castielle gave a small smile as Dean and Deanna roared with laughter.

"Come on, man! I've got like, the best playlist for this!"

"You made a playlist just in case the situation ever came up where we ran into our female doubles?" Sam raised an eyebrow and Dean flushed.

"No! I just made a playlist…because." He stared ahead.

Sam looked at Samantha, who shrugged.

"Fine, I'll put on the next one," Dean began to flick through the tracks.

A smooth bass started playing.

"Lou Reed? Really?"

"Take a walk on the wild side, Samantha!"

"Next song. Now."

Dean and Deanna rolled their eyes and changed the track.

"No!"

"But it's Zeppelin!"

"I said no!"

"Killjoy."

Sam and Samantha were getting more and more difficult to please. They went through 'I'm a Boy' by The Who, David Bowie's 'Rebel Rebel' and 'Queen Bitch', and plenty more before Dean finally said "You know what? Shut up. I'm driving, I'm picking the music!" and hit play.

_I met her in a club down in old Soho_

Samantha couldn't help it: she began to laugh.

_Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry-cola  
C-o-l-a cola_

Everyone except for Castiel (who had never heard the song before), started singing.  
_  
She walked up to me and she asked me to dance__  
I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said Lola__  
L-o-l-a Lola lo-lo-lo-lo Lola_

Castielle turned in her seat and smiled reassuringly at Castiel, who relaxed and smiled back. Dean and Deanna, by unspoken agreement, began to belt the words at the top of their lungs, to the amusement of everyone in the car.  
_  
Well I'm not the worlds most physical guy__  
But when she squeezed me tight she nearly broke my spine__  
Oh my Lola lo-lo-lo-lo Lola_

_Well I'm not dumb but I can't understand__  
Why she walked like a woman and talked like a man_

(At this they pointed at one another and cracked up laughing)  
_  
Oh my Lola lo-lo-lo-lo Lola lo-lo-lo-lo Lola_

_Well we drank champagne and danced all night  
__Under electric candlelight  
__She picked me up and sat me on her knee  
__And said dear boy wont you come home with me  
__Well I'm not the worlds most passionate guy  
__But when I looked in her eyes well I almost fell for my Lola_

The atmosphere was infectious, and Sam found himself smiling as he sang with his brother.  
_  
Lo-lo-lo-lo Lola lo-lo-lo-lo Lola__  
Lola lo-lo-lo-lo Lola lo-lo-lo-lo Lola_

I pushed her away  
_I walked to the door  
__I fell to the floor  
__I got down on my knees  
__Then I looked at her and she at me_

_Well that's the way that I want it to stay_  
_And I always want it to be that way for my Lola  
__Lo-lo-lo-lo Lola  
__Girls will be boys and boys will be girls_

(And now Sam was laughing as he sang, and surprisingly Dean's weird playlist was actually taking the edge off things)  
_  
It's a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for Lola__  
Lo-lo-lo-lo Lola_

_Well I left home just a week before  
__And I'd never ever kissed a woman before  
__But Lola smiled and took me by the hand  
__And said dear boy I'm gonna make you a man_

_Well I'm not the worlds most masculine man_

- For some reason, Deanna gave a huge wink to Dean, who's ears went red -  
_  
But I know what I am and I'm glad I'm a man__  
And so is Lola__  
Lo-lo-lo-lo Lola lo-lo-lo-lo Lola__  
Lola lo-lo-lo-lo Lola lo-lo-lo-lo Lola_

And the Impala drove on, the six people inside laughing as they sang.

* * *

Booking a motel room was awkward, to say the least. The scrawny guy raised an eyebrow when Dean marched to the desk and brusquely asked for three rooms with two beds each, but handed over three sets of keys without complaint.

"Right," Dean said. "We each pair up with our double for a roomie, and get a decent night's sleep, got it? God knows I need one after the fuck up this day has been."

Castielle frowned. "But…."

Deanna finished for her. "We sleep better together. Me 'n' Cas – my Cas, that is – we're real used to the other being there that sleeping without her….it just doesn't happen. Um." She looked at Dean apologetically, who pinched the bridge of his nose before exhaling heavily.

"Fine. Cas – dude Cas – you're bunking with me." Dean said gruffly, desperately ignoring the thought of Castiel in boxers (which was waving a huge NOTICE ME flag, and Dean was really, really trying not to pay any attention to his stupidly horny brain). "The two Sammys, have this key, go nerd out. You guys, here's your key. Let's go." He made to stalk to his room that he was sharing with Cas (_DAMMIT_), but Deanna called his name.

"Dean, can I talk to you for a minute?"

He walked to where she stood by the Impala. "Sure, what's up?"

Sparing a glance for the others, she told them, "No, go ahead. We'll be there in a minute."

They left, and she looked Dean dead in the eyes. "I just wanted to say I know why you have that playlist."

Dean blanched.

"…..because I have one too. Same reason, but flipped. We're the same person, dude, I don't know why you're surprised by this. But I figured you didn't even have anyone to talk to about it, so yeah. I'm here."

The pause that followed was deafening.

"So I'm gonna go bunk with my girlfriend now, don't be too much of a dick around Cas please?"

Without waiting for a reply, she walked to her and Castielle's room, leaving a numb Dean in the parking lot.

He shook his head and made his way to where he was rooming with the angel.

_Yeah. This won't be awkward at all._

* * *

**AN: So this entire fic is owed to this sudden picture I had in my head a few weeks ago of the six of them in the Impala singing 'Lola' by The Kinks, and so I put that scene in there. One of my favourite songs. And yeah I may have a playlist of songs all to do with crossdressing, because I can. Dean has one for his own reasons that will be revealed later on although I'm sure you can guess.**_  
_

**OnyxDay - I hope you like this chapter just as much! Thanks!**

**eboncat - I totally agree with your first point, and thanks :) your reviews on the shit I write make me believe that I'm doing a semi-good job, so thank you.**

**DreamerInHeaven - I've already said this to other people who said the same, but that still means a lot to me and thank you very much :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I know it's late I'm sorry I got caught up cross posting shit to ao3 and yeah. This was written in a hurry - any mistakes let me know. Also sorry for the lack of Sam and Samantha, I'm trying to incorporate them more but yeah.**

**See end of chapter for review responses.**

* * *

Chapter 5

"Hey, Cas," Dean said as he shut the door. The angel looked up nervously from where he'd been resting his head in his hands, sat on the edge of the bed farthest from the door. It was as if he instinctively knew Dean would want the bed closest to the door – an urge brought on from years of protecting Sam meant he wanted to be the one in more immediate danger.

"Hello, Dean. I am sorry for the…..awkwardness caused by my female counterpart," Castiel said, looking slightly flustered. "I am also sorry for being the one to drag you down here. This is an odd situation, and I would not have willingly dragged you into it." He was visibly downcast, and Dean sighed as he shut the door and walked to sit opposite him.

"Look, Cas. I'm okay with the shit that's happening right now," Castiel raised a disbelieving eyebrow, and Dean rolled his eyes. "Really. I mean, it's weird as shit, but we're stuck with it, and it's not like it was a flesh eating monster issue or something so I think we got a pretty sweet deal. You don't have to apologise. And as for the sleeping arrangements? Well, at least one version of me is getting laid." He chuckled somewhat sadly, and continued before Castiel could detect the longing there. "It'll be like a sleepover! Me, my best buddy, and a TV. Minus Sammy and his hair braiding."

Castiel frowned. " 'Sleepover'? I don't sleep, Dean."

"Not the point, Cas." Dean shifted slightly. "Look, I'll chuck on the TV, we can just hang out until I fall asleep, and you can do…whatever. What do you even do when you're not around us, now? I know Heaven's out to gank your ass."

Castiel looked uncomfortable. "Well….I kind of…nothing, really. For a while I thought I would be able to rouse some followers, but they have either perished or abandoned me. So I've just been travelling here and there, assisting those who pray for it."

Dean stared at him. "And you didn't think to drop in? Maybe? I prayed, Cas! What happened to you always coming when I call? I mean, it's not like I want you to be my slave or anything, but I thought we were friends! You didn't come when I needed you." His throat was tight as he spoke, and as he looked down at his feet with the shame of finally admitting just how much he'd missed the angel, he completely missed the heartbroken look in Castiel's eyes.

"I wanted to, Dean. Believe me. But it would have put you and Sam in even further danger, and that is not something I was prepared to do to you. I heard your prayers, Dean. I came to you in the end not because of the 'case', although that was a part of it but…I missed you." He spoke softly, watching Dean's eyes widen. Dean cleared his throat.

"Yeah, well. Same. Um…wanna watch some TV?" he gestured at the old television set that was facing the two beds, and Castiel gave a small smile and a nod. The two reclined on their beds, and Dean flicked on the TV, brightening up considerably when he realised what was on.

"Dude, awesome!"

"Dean, what is…Dr Sexy MD?"

* * *

In the next room, Deanna and Castielle curled up together, watching the exact same show.

"It's like watching reruns, but they're new episodes here!" Deanna had explained excitedly. Now, with her lips perfectly placed next to the shell of Deanna's ear, Castielle murmured, "I will never understand your obsession with this show."

Deanna smirked. "Don't have to understand it to put up with it."

"I suppo-" Castielle's sentence was lost in Deanna's mouth as Deanna kissed her. She let out a breathless sigh, and soon enough they were lying flat on the bed, TV forgotten, limbs tangled.

"I'm really glad you're in love with me, you know," Castielle whispered in between kisses.

"You know I don't deserve you," Deanna muttered into her neck, "but I sure am grateful for you."

Castielle stopped, and looked at her. "We are not having this conversation again. I thought you were over the whole 'I don't deserve you' thing. Don't start."

Deanna rolled onto her back to stare at the ceiling. "Yeah, just….being around those two-" she pointed at the wall between their room and Dean and Castiel's "-it's bringing up everything again. I'm sorry. Can we just forget about it?" She flashed Castielle a dazzling smile, who rolled her eyes and shifted so that she was on top of Deanna and then pecked her on the lips.

"Yes, we can."

* * *

Sam and Samantha sat on their respective beds, staring blankly at the TV screen in mutual horror. Sighs and moans, accompanied by the creak of rusty bedsprings, carried through the thin walls, and Sam looked at Samantha.

"Is it always like this?"

Samantha, thin-lipped, nodded.

"Every night."

"Oh….oh god."

"That's what they were yelling the other night."

"Please stop."

"Yep."

And they continued to watch infomercials before finally dropping off to sleep from exhaustion.

* * *

Dean and Castiel were also staring at the wall that separated them and their female counterparts. Dean was shocked, Castiel curious.

"Are they….are they fucking?!" Dean said at last. Castiel looked at him.

"Well, they are in a relationship, so it would follow that they fornicate regularly."

"Don't say it like that, man. That's….that's weird. This is weird. This is a whole new level of weird." Dean stood up, agitated, and began to pace, with Castiel observing him.

"Dean, you need sleep."

"Yeah, yeah."

"I mean it, Dean. Please, sleep. You are no good to anyone if you do not take better care of yourself."

Dean huffed before looking over at where the angel was sitting.

"Uh, I'm gonna get changed, you mind turning around or something?"

"Dean, I have seen you in various forms of undress over the years. I have seen what happens in your dreams. I have carried your naked soul in my –"

"Just turn around, okay!"

Castiel did so, and Deann stripped down to his boxers and t shirt before climbing into bed.

"I'm gonna sleep now. Don't go all weird on me. Watch TV or something, okay?" Castiel gave him a sharp look before turning to the TV, and soon enough Dean, relaxed by the angel's presence, fell asleep to the sounds of Dr Piccolo weeping over unrequited love, and his female self having sex in the next room.

Given the weirdness of the situation and Dean's frazzled nerves, it was small wonder his nightmares decided to come back full force that night.

* * *

_Alastair laughed, sliding the knife in intricate patterns down Dean's chest._

"_Dean, Dean, Dean. You never learn, do you? You do realise that everyone leaving you isn't their fault, it's yours, don't you?" He laughed, and Dean was able to suck in a breath before a hand fixed itself around his throat. "You're gonna do exactly as I say, aren't you?"_

_Dean wasn't in control of his body anymore. He took the knife Alastair handed to him, and walked over to where Sam and Castiel were strung up, watching him with wide, terrified eyes._

"_Dean, no!" Sam roared, but it was too late, and Dean watched from inside himself as he sunk the knife to the hilt in Sam's chest. He then moved to where Castiel was, frozen to the spot._

"_Dean, what have you become?" the angel whispered. "I thought you loved me."_

_Dean felt his own mouth twist into a sick grimace. "Think again, angel boy."_

_Castiel's eyes were filled with tears. "You're a monster."_

_The hand holding the knife lifted of its own volition. "I'm a demon."_

_And it plunged down, embedding itself in Castiel's stomach, and the angel screamed in agony as the life flowed out of him._

* * *

Dean sat bolt upright in bed, shaking and sweaty.

"Dean?" Castiel was at his side in an instant, and Dean reflexively grabbed his hand.

"Cas?" his voice was hoarse, and he realised he'd been screaming into his pillow in his sleep. Castiel's grip on his hand tightened.

"You were dreaming, Dean. I didn't….I couldn't….I tried to help, but I was unable to access your thoughts. My Grace didn't let me." He sounded frustrated and confused, but all Dean could focus on was _not real not real still alive still here._

"Cas, that doesn't matter. Can you just…sit next to me? Please?" Dean hated himself for being so needy, so open with his thoughts, but Castiel did as he asked, and sat next to him on the bed, still holding his hand.

* * *

Castiel observed Dean as he slept, thinking about his stolen Grace.

_Was it because it was stolen that it didn't work?_

_Or am I simply unworthy now?_

His frustration clouded his thoughts, and he glanced down worriedly at the hunter. _His_ hunter. The one he had sworn to protect, and failed so many times. It was a miracle Dean even wanted him around still.

As if tuning in to his thoughts, Dean rolled over in his sleep. His arm, meeting the barrier of Castiel's leg, simply shifted so that it lay across Castiel's body, tugging him in close. Castiel, unwilling to wake Dean, allowed himself to be pulled over. Dean smiled contentedly, wriggling in and whispering "Cas….."

Castiel blinked. Was Dean awake? He checked. No, Dean was asleep.

_This is odd._

Ignoring the fluttering in his chest, he once again attemped to enter Dean's dream. However, his stolen Grace was still unwilling to co-operate, and he slumped against the headboard of the bed, still encircled in Dean's arms and not at all eager to ever leave.

* * *

**AN: Reviews?**

**eboncat - I honestly wish they would have a moment like that in the show it would make my life. Plus they'd actually be smiling for once I'm not seeing a downside here.**

**OnyxDay - WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO SAY THAT. I WAS JUST GETTING OVER IT.**

**DreamerInHeaven - That makes me happy :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: LATE. SORRY. My shitty excuse is that I've been looking at applying to uni to start midyear, after four months of nothing. So yeah, haven't had much time. I was updating my Novak vs Winchester fic yesterday (also a day late), hopefully I'll have enough time to update my Stars fic tonight after work. If not, and if you're also reading that one, I'm sorry. I'll be back on track with updates for my Who Are You? fic tomorrow though! Review responses are at the bottom, and this chapter is of crappier quality because it was rushed. So I apologise for that also.**

* * *

Chapter 6

Dean shifted into wakefulness, and frowned in confusion. His vision was filled with dark navy.

_What….._

He looked up, and it all became clear when he met the concerned gaze of a pair of familiar blue eyes.

_Oh._

"Hey, Cas," he said, unsuccessfully attempting to ease the tension in the air. Castiel simply continued to look at him with genuine concern, and Dean realised that his arm was wrapped around Castiel's legs. He hurriedly removed it.

"Um, thanks," he muttered. Castiel finally found his voice.

"For what, Dean?" Castiel looked actually confused. Dean sighed, resigning himself once again to having to explain human communication to the angel. He sat up, scrubbing a hand down his face before looking back to Castiel, who sat next to him with his hands neatly clasped in his lap.

"Just for sticking around. For not ditching. And for putting up with all my crap," he explained. "I can't believe you sat there all night, man. I treat you like shit so much, and I'm sorry."

Castiel actually rolled his eyes at this.

"You are my friend, Dean. Of course I stayed. I will always watch over you. And I have done my share of damage too, so we are equally at fault. Let's say no more about it, I'm sure the others are waiting."

Dean went vaguely pink at this, and Castiel observed the change in his skin with intrigue.

"Yeah, whatever. I'm gonna hit the shower, you….do whatever, okay?"

Castiel nodded, and vanished. Dean scowled at the empty space the angel had just occupied.

" 'See you later, Dean'," he said in a low voice, imitating Castiel's. " 'Yeah, Cas, I'll see you real soon.' Is it really that difficult to grasp the concept of 'see you later'?"

Still grumbling to himself, he stomped into the bathroom and began the process of waking himself up properly in the morning, sans the heart-to-heart conversation with an angel.

* * *

Castiel appeared in Sam and Samantha's shared room, startling the pair of them as they threw their pyjamas in their bags.

"Dude! Cas! A little warning next time?" Sam asked weakly. Samantha retrieved her clothes from where she'd dropped them in shock.

"My apologies," Castiel said awkwardly. Samantha offered a feeble smile when Sam merely grunted and carried on clearing his meagre necessities from beside the bed. Samantha rolled her eyes at Sam's behaviour, and addressed Castiel.

"I'm sorry, it's been a while since _our_ Cas could do that. I'm not as used to it anymore. What's up?" she asked. Castiel gave a non-committal shrug and sat down on a chair.

"Dean is showering. I thought it prudent to leave – he has expressed distaste with my presence when he cleans himself," he said, inspecting his fingernails with unnatural interest. Sam and Samantha exchanged looks.

"Wonder why that is?" Sam muttered, and Samantha smirked. Castiel ignored them, and continued.

"I felt I should inform you that he is in a strange mood, and that it would be wise to be prepared to leave before he is. He is rather impatient to return to the bunker." Sam nodded.

"Right. Thanks, Cas. We're almost done, anyway. We'll be waiting outside."

Castiel rose from where he sat. "Thank you Sam, Samantha. I shall inform the other two."

And he vanished. The two left behind looked at one another with raised eyebrows.

"Tell me they get less oblivious to how they feel soon, because I don't know how much longer I can take," Sam groaned as he zipped up his bag. Samantha shrugged.

"Sort of – but they do fuck a hell of a lot more."

A pause.

"Fuck."

* * *

Deanna and Castielle were packed and ready to go when Castiel appeared in their room. Unfortunately, they were also in the middle of heavily making out on the couch. Castiel cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"Um."

The pair jumped apart, blushing.

"Shit!"

"…..my apologies. I see you are already packed. I'll just….wait outside," Castiel said, feeling slightly unnerved at the sight of the two of them. Deanna stood up.

"Dude, come on. Chill for a bit, Dean's gonna be a while in the shower." She winked at Castielle, who promptly blushed. Castiel looked between the pair of them.

"Am I missing something here?"

"He woke up next to you, didn't he?" Castielle said. Castiel nodded.

"And?"

"Yeah, he's totally not attracted to you at all," Deanna snorted. Castiel chose to ignore that comment, knowing that it was, quite frankly, ridiculous. He knew full well that Dean preferred women to men, and the idea of him ever being attracted to Castiel was laughable. He was also 99% sure that the fact that his body's (despite Jimmy Novak being long gone, Castiel still felt uneasy addressing his body as his own. The fact that he could easily vacate it and possess another was all too pervasive in his mind, even though he had never actually considered it) heart ached whenever he was in Dean's general vicinity was some sort of illness.

"Can we talk about something else, please?" he asked. "Dean is showering, and I have no wish to interrupt Sam and Samantha. I feel that Samantha is helping Sam get over his animosity towards his brother, and I would only hinder that. Is it alright if I sit here quietly?" Deanna's heart twisted. Castiel, despite being recently restored as an angel, had retained his humanity, and was becoming more and more human in a painfully obvious manner. She walked over to him and placed a hand on his.

"Of course, man. You can talk to us. One of us is half you, after all," she said jokingly. The pair of them gave her a small smile, and the fact that she was hanging out with her girlfriend and her girlfriend's male form was suddenly hitting her full force. She straightened up, and ran a hand through her hair to smooth it out.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Castielle asked, noticing her discomfort and joining her so she could squeeze her hand. Castiel shrugged, casting his mind around for a topic. Of course, it landed on something close to home.

"How did you two….." the sentence was left flapping around at the end, but the two women understood. They sat down opposite the angel after glancing at one another. Deanna began to speak.

"Well, we were hunting….."

* * *

"_Cas!" Deanna yelled. The angel had collapsed immediately after she had finished smiting the last of the demons, and was in a huddle on the floor. Sammi was back at the bunker, looking up ways to return the angels to Heaven. Deanna ran over to her friend, who was looking around in confusion._

"_Dean?" The word was like a punch in the chest for Deanna, who hauled Castielle up into a sitting position, checking her over for injuries._

"_What the hell was that?! You freaking collapsed!"_

_Castielle closed her eyes, allowing her head to sink to Deanna's shoulder. _

"_I used the last of my Grace."_

_Deanna, who was halfway through wrapping her arms around Castielle, froze._

"_What? But…..you can't run outta juice. It's your mojo!"_

_Castielle sighed._

"_It wasn't mine, though. I stole it from another angel. It wasn't mine, and so it was always going to have an expiry date. I am sorry, I will no longer be of use to you."_

_Deanna hugged her fiercely. _

"_I don't care if you're human or not, Cas. You're my best friend, and you're staying at the bunker no matter what, okay? If that's what you want, of course," she added hastily. Castielle pulled back to stare at her, eyes shining._

"_I want to." _

_And Deanna, for once following what her gut had been telling her to do since 2008, simply leaned forward and pressed her lips to Castielle's. Castielle groaned and kissed back, and then Deanna realised what she was doing, pulling back in shock and still managing to support the body of the fallen angel._

"_Shit, Cas, I'm sorry," she babbled, and Castielle frowned._

"_Why? The only thing you should apologise for is that it took so long," she said softly. Deanna grinned, resting her forehead against Castielle's._

"_I guess we have a lot of time to make up for, then," she whispered, and they kissed again, losing themselves on the floor of a dirty warehouse._

_Five minutes later, though, they realised they should probably get the fuck outta there, and made their escape in the Impala, speeding back to the bunker._

* * *

Castiel looked at the pair of them as they smiled at one another.

"That is….a lovely story," he finally said. "I…what should I do when this Grace runs out? Metatron still has _my_ Grace, and….."

Castielle gave him a level gaze, and Castiel was finally subjected to one of his own soul-piercing stares.

"When you restore the angels to Heaven, you will have a choice to make," she said. "You can either find your Grace, and become an angel again, or you can find your Grace and place it somewhere no one will ever find it again, and stay as a human on Earth. I almost returned to Heaven, but…." She cast her eyes downwards here, before continuing, "There were too many unknown factors. I know I deserve to be punished for all I have done, and I probably will be after death, but this humanity is worth it. There are new things to experience every day, and I have no reason to regret my decision."

As she finished speaking, there was a banging on the door.

"Guys we're going!" Dean hollered. "Get your asses outside! And if Cas is in there, you are _not_ allowed to start any freaky threeway sex things, got it?"

Deanna laughed as she and Castielle went to leave, and Castiel vanished without a word. The two women sighed, remembering the days before they had become something more, and grabbed their bags.

* * *

**PS: Deanna and Castielle call each other "Cas" and "Dean" because it's short versions of their name. Yeah. **

**Anywhore, review responses:**

**eboncat - I have no idea how I'm doing this either with multiple multi-chapter fics and the odd oneshot all at the same time. I think it's me running on tea and bacon. And your fic sounds awesome :D I'd love to read it (hint hint). You described Dean's sleeping perfectly - it's how I pictured it and I can be like that sometimes too (I sleep alone though so it's just my pillow that has to put up with it). And "accidentally went to sleep with a really good looking anaconda" is the best sentence I have ever read. Thank you!**

**DemonicAngel363 - If anything, I'm happy my writing has gotten that kind of response, so thanks for your entire review because I know I'm doing a good job here :) **

**OnyxDay - EVERY DAMN TIME. AND I'M GOING TO HAVE TO READ IT AGAIN AT SOME POINT FOR ANOTHER FIC I'M DOING I NEED A CONSTANT SUPPLY OF DESTIEL FLUFF TO GET THROUGH THAT. And thank you :3**

**TMK13 - I shall gladly supply distractions from work for you! Feel free to look at my other fics!**

**Like I say every chapter: reviews make me happy and I always respond to them. Also, I'm adding to my ao3 account, and some stuff I put there might not make it to here (I'll try though). I'm also posting on there everything I'm posting here. My username there is secretlyademigodinthetardis, and that's also my tumblr URL. So yeah. I'm not hint dropping or anything.**

**Until next week! (which will be on time)**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: First things first. This Wednesday I am going to visit my sister. I won't be home until next Monday, so I might miss my update deadline for my other fics as well as this by a couple of days. I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be slack and I will attempt to update them all on time but I'm doing like 4 updated weekly as well as 2 drafts for DCBB and random oneshots that pop into my head. Sorry. And if this chapter sucks it's because it's almost 1am. I could probably bulk it out a whole lot more but I don't have the energy. Review responses at the bottom!**

* * *

Chapter 7

"Home!" Dean beamed as they entered the bunker. He bolted to his room to dump his bag, and the others followed suit at a more sedate pace. Deanna, Castielle and Samantha all looked at one another uncertainly.

"Where do we go?" Castielle finally asked, and Samantha shrugged.

"The living room?"

The three of them, uncomfortable in the familiar-but-not bunker, awkwardly made their way to the living room and perched on the couch. Dean re-emerged, grinning, and faltered when he saw the trio on the couch.

"Shit! I forgot, I'll get your rooms set up and we can just sort that shit out. Tomorrow we can research how to get you back and stuff?" He scratched the back of his neck, looking at them questioningly. Deanna perked up.

"Sure, me and Cas – my Cas – can share a room, right?" she smirked suggestively, and Dean rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," he grumbled, and then made for the linen cupboard – _we have a goddamn linen cupboard_ – to grab the bedding. He walked down the hallway to the spare bedrooms, arms laden with sheets, blankets and pillows, and smacked into something ridiculously solid.

"Hello, Dean."

"Oof!" Dean dropped the blankets, and glared at Castiel. "Dude, could you not show up right where I'm walking?"

Castiel, although vaguely confused, nodded. "Of course. Sorry, Dean."

Dean bent down to pick up the bedding. "Something you want, Cas?"

"Not….particularly. I'm…If it's okay with you, I think I would like to stay in the bunker for a while."

"What, like until tomorrow?" Dean straightened up.

"Not exactly." Dean finally stopped to properly look at Castiel, who was shifting uncomfortably and scratching at his arm and looking far too….human.

"What's wrong, Cas?"

"I'm fine. I just wish to stay here for the time being."

Dean felt his jaw tighten at the fact that he _knew_ Castiel was lying to his face, but simply nodded. "Yeah, okay. You want your own room? We got a spare one considering our…other selves…..are sharing one."

"I would like that very much, Dean." Castiel gave a small smile, and his eyes sparkled. Dean smiled back, and was momentarily caught up in simply drinking in Castiel, the way he looked, the fact that he was _here, _and choosing to be with Dean, before he realised he was staring.

"So, uh. I kind of….look, just help me carry this for now, okay?" He dumped half the bedding into the angel's arms, and they went down the hall together, arms brushing as they walked. Dean determinedly ignored the tingles that sparked from the points of contact, because he was Dean Winchester, a 35 year old grown ass man who did not get frigging tingly from _touching an angel_.

On second thought, he could have made that sentence sound less dirty in his head.

They dumped the blankets in the two spare rooms, and Dean looked at Castiel nervously.

"So, I kinda did something."

Castiel frowned worriedly.

"Is this like the time Sam 'did something', and it turned out to be drinking demon blood?"

Dean gave a small laugh at this, at Castiel's concern, and at how far they – all three of them – had come since that horrible time.

"Nah, it's nothing like that. Come on, I'll show you."

He walked over to the door that was the next one along from his bedroom, Castiel behind him.

"Dean, what-"

Dean opened the door and shrugged.

"It's your bedroom, Cas."

There was a fully made bed in there, along with a small assortment of books. On the stand next to the bed, there was a small framed photograph. Castiel walked over silently and examined it.

It was a photograph of him, Dean and Sam, all laughing in a bar. Castiel remembered that night – they'd just managed to exorcise a group of demons, and were celebrating. Castiel realised he hadn't seen Dean smile like that for a long time and the thought made him sad. He stared at the photo in his hands, emotions bubbling up inside him like a volcano, and realised Dean was still watching him from the doorway apprehensively.

"Is this okay? I mean, I know you don't need sleep or anything because of the whole angel thing, I just thought-"

Castiel strode over and abruptly pulled the startled man into a hug.

"It's perfect, Dean," he said, smiling. Dean grinned in response.

"Yeah, well. I had it set up for you back when you were human, but…."

Castiel pulled back as he nodded slowly.

"You had to kick me out."

Dean looked at the floor.

"Yeah. And you have no idea how sorry I am for that, man. I just…..shit, dude…."

Castiel made Dean look him in the eyes.

"Dean, it's okay. I understand why. It hurt, but I understand. And I forgive you."

Confusion was etched into every inch of Dean's face.

"You what?"

"I forgive you."

Dean licked his lips, unsure of what to say.

"Huh."

At that point, Castiel's Head Tilt of Confusion made an appearance.

"Dean?"

"No, it's…no one ever says that to me. It's nice. I mean, I'm pretty sure I don't deserve it, but it's nice."

Castiel took another step back, scowling.

"Dean, if I say you deserve it, you deserve it. Capisce?"

A memory – _"Cas, you capisce?" "Yeah, I capisce."_ – and Dean was struck with how utterly bizarre his life was as he repeated Castiel's words from long ago back to him now.

"Yeah, I capisce."

"Good. I love this room, thank you Dean," and Castiel turned away, effectively cutting Dean off from any further conversation. Dean blinked, and walked out, throwing over his shoulder "talk later, okay?" as he went.

Castiel sat on the edge of his bed, and yawned before realising.

He was _yawning._

* * *

Deanna, Castielle and Samantha were all settled in their rooms, and the six of them ate, ordering out Chinese because "I might be Mother Hen here because none of you can look after your own bitch asses, but I am not cooking after driving and sorting your bed shit out." Deanna and Castielle yawned and pointedly made their way to their temporary room, holding hands. A couple of minutes later, Samantha followed suit. As she passed Sam, he held out a set of noise cancelling headphones without looking up.

"Thanks," she said, taking them with a sigh. "Night guys!"

"Night," they responded, and the three men were finally alone. Sam was the first to speak.

"This is fucking weird."

Dean shrugged. "Well, yeah."

Sam rounded on him. Castiel, nursing a bottle of beer, watched with interest.

"Is that it?"

"What else do you want me to say? It's fucked up, it's weird as shit, but it's happening, so we're gonna deal with it! I'm going to bed." Dean stood up and went to his room, slamming the door behind him. Sam and Castiel looked at one another.

"What's up with him?" Sam wondered. Castiel turned the question over in his mind, choosing his answer carefully.

"Dean has a lot on his mind. He is still unable to forgive himself for not allowing me to stay, for allowing you to be possessed, and still carries the burden of guilt unnecessarily after all these years. He is also still unsure of how to handle our alternate selves, and the….relationship, between my alternate self and his. Please, Sam, do not be angry with him."

Sam stared at the bottle in his hands.

"Yeah, I…..I get that. I'm sorry."

"Perhaps I am not the one you should be apologising to." Castiel rose from the table, placing a hand on Sam's shoulder. "Goodnight, Sam."

"Night, Cas."

It was only after Castiel had gone to bed that Sam had a thought.

_Dean kept Castiel's room like that?_

* * *

Dean lay in bed, hearing the others go to their rooms. He rolled over, trying to sleep, but instead he couldn't stop worrying.

What if they couldn't help out their other selves?

What if Heaven remained closed?

"Shit," Dean mumbled. He reached out to find his bedside whiskey, but it wasn't there. He realised he'd finished it off the day before Castiel had arrived at the bunker a couple of days ago, which was another sore point.

How long would Castiel decide to stick around?

Why did he forgive Dean?

What would he do if they managed to reopen Heaven?

As he lay there, scowling at his ceiling, he heard a low cry from the room next to his. Dean shot out of bed, and ran into Castiel's room. The angel lay on his bed, asleep but curled up and shaking as he sobbed and moaned.

"No!" he groaned. "I won't…I won't hurt Dean."

Dean's heart thudded painfully, and without stopping to think about it, he crossed the room and grabbed Castiel's shoulder.

"Cas!"

Castiel woke up, panicked.

"Dean?" He threw himself into Dean's arms. Dean rocked back a little bit before adjusting to the new weight he now held.

"Hey, you're okay, just a nightmare," he soothed. He went to let go and leave, but Castiel clung on.

"Dean, may you….can you stay? Please?" he ventured. Dean only had to think for a second before answering, his gut telling instinctively what to do - _watch out for Cas, watch out for Sammy_ - while his brain shrieked that this was probably a bad idea and his heart refused to comment because it was currently sprinting.

"Okay. But only because you asked nicely," he said. Castiel settled back down, and Dean stood by the bed, uncertain.

"So, uhh…do you want me to…."

"Lie down, Dean. I just need sleep, and your presence helps keep bad dreams away."

Dean felt yet another surge of guilt as he flashed back to sending Castiel away, and he lay down next to Castiel.

"G'night Cas."

"Goodnight, Dean."

Just before Dean allowed sleep to claim him, he was struck by a thought: _Angels don't need sleep._

* * *

**AN: Let me know what you think please!**

**eboncat - I'm kind of a sucker for when people follow/review, because it motivates me to update on time, but it also makes me panic in case I don't write well or don't finish on time and arrgh. Everyone who follows or reviews is amazing though, just saying. And my stuff is unbeta'd too, but no one seems to be complaining so I'm sure yours is great :) mind you, they might just not care enough to bitch out on me so idk.**

**Guest - Yeah I'd never been a big fan of Fem! stuff, not sure why, but I just thought: what if they met them? and this happened. Oops. And Deanna and Castielle are pretty fun to write, I'm trying to find the balance between writing those two, and Sam and Samantha being nerds, and Dean and Cas. So thanks for your support and you really aren't bothering me I love it when people review :) I fully support your Oreo fixation, btw. I'm like that with Peanut MNMs and pie and cheeseburgers and I just made myself hungry at 1am dammit.**

**OnyxDay - Feel free to cry to me! I aspire to be as good a writer as them, and that fic just rips my heart out every time.**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: I AM SO SORRY FOR THE UNEXPECTED HIATUS. Incredibly busy week. Hopefully I'm back on schedule. Me missing updates might be a regular thing though (sorry). Also this chapter sucks and is really short and I am so sorry. Once it's finished, I'm going to come back to this fic, edit it and make it ten times better, and upload it to my AO3 account (also called secretlyademigodinthetardis). So yeah. Feel free to check out my account over there.**

**Review responses are at the bottom!**

* * *

Chapter 8

_Dean rolled over and snuggled further into the warm arms of his angel, smiling sleepily._

"_Mmm. Morning Cas," he mumbled. Strong hands stroked gently along his skin, and he felt Castiel smile into his neck._

"_Good morning, Dean."_

_Dean lifted his head slightly so that they could look into one another's eyes, and they traded a soft kiss. He sighed happily before sinking back down into the duvet, content to stay like that forever._

"_Can we just….stay in bed all day? Like, not looking for another case or whatever, just me and you for once. Being human is a good look on you."_

_Castiel smiled, and if the sun hadn't already been up Dean could've sworn that it rose when Castiel smiled. He wasn't altogether convinced that wasn't the case anyway._

"_I would like that, Dean. But you know, you should probably wake up now. Considering this is a dream and all."_

"_Huh?"_

* * *

Dean rolled over and snuggled further into the warm arms of his angel, smiling sleepily.

"Mmm. Morning Cas," he mumbled. Strong hands stroked gently along his skin, and he felt Castiel smile into his neck.

"Good morning, Dean."

Dean froze.

_Wait a second._

He lifted his head cautiously, and found Castiel staring at him with blatant shock. Dean shot backwards, and within an instant was standing by the bed. Bright red, Dean stared at the floor, acutely aware of Castiel's unswerving gaze resting upon him.

"So that never happened," he stammered, more to himself than Castiel, but it didn't stop Castiel from responding

"Okay." If Dean heard an unhappy note in Castiel's voice, he didn't let his reaction show. He ploughed on.

"And what the hell, dude? I thought angels didn't sleep! You're a full blown angel now, what gives?"

"I don't know, Dean," Castiel gritted out. Dean narrowed his eyes.

"You're a terrible liar, Cas. And you can't lie to me. I know you! What's going on?"

Castiel looked at him with pleading eyes.

"Please, Dean. I can't talk about this. Not yet. I don't…..it's not…..can we please just assume for the moment that I sleep now, and that it is normal for me to require regular human things?"

Dean glared at him unhappily.

"Fine. But you _will_ tell me what's going on, and soon, because I don't want you suffering when we – when _I_ – could be helping you, okay?"

He turned and left the room, leaving Castiel sat up in bed with his head buried in his hands.

* * *

Breakfast was, suffice to say, awkward. Dean was refusing to look at anybody, Castiel was refusing to look away from Dean, Deanna and Castielle's eyes flicked between them like they were watching a tennis match, and Sam and Samantha ate as fast as they could before running away.

Once in the library, the two of them set to work. Sam focused on finding all the lore books the bunker had about connecting to parallel universes, while Samantha spent her time browsing websites.

"Breakfast was weird, right?" Sam finally broke the silence.

"Right?!" Samantha looked at him slyly. "If your two aren't fucking by the time we sort this out, you owe me ten bucks."

Sam considered this for a moment as he dumped yet another stack of books on the table.

"Deal."

After three hours, during which Dean sulked in the Impala and thought about why Castiel was suddenly starting to have human needs, Castiel wandered in and out of the library frowning at a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and Deanna and Castielle rewatched Season 3 of Game of Thrones ("But we're up to Season 5 back home, why are we-" "IT'S LIKE IT'S BRAND NEW, CAS!"), there was a yell from where Samantha sat at Sam's laptop.

"I have something!"

Everyone in the bunker ran to where she and Sam hunched over the screen. She pointed.

"Okay, so there's this ancient text written by this guy….." she squinted at the screen. "It looks like his name was Abraham or something. Everyone was called Abraham back then, and-"

"Actually, names were quite varied-"

"Cas, she was joking."

"Oh."

"_Anyway,_" Samantha said, glaring at Dean and Castiel who had the grace to look slightly ashamed, "apparently this book he wrote was destroyed and this is the only surviving page. And it talks about parallel universes!" She looked around excitedly. Dean looked blank. Castiel was frowning. Deanna and Castielle looked intrigued, and Sam was smiling encouragingly.

"What exactly does it say?" Dean finally asked.

"Um. Not a lot. It says something about Angel Grace, and something else about a witch, but I can't really decipher much more aside from the fact that it's got something to do with Heaven being locked up."

Everyone pretended not to see Dean casting surreptitious concerned looks at Castiel before he cleared his throat.

"So, what, because Metatron's a douchebag we're connected to other realities?" he said. Samantha nodded at his succinct summary.

"In a nutshell, yes."

Deanna flopped into a chair, pulling Castielle down to sit on her lap.

"Great. So what do we do? I mean, I assume Kevin's…not around here anymore as well. Do you still have his notes?"

Sam and Samantha looked at her. Dean had a sudden flashback to when he'd said, without thinking, "Accidents don't just happen…..accidentally."

Yeah, it was _that_ look.

"Dude, we have _you."_ Sam said. Dean and Deanna raised their eyebrows.

"What?"

"You guys! You know how to reopen Heaven; you know the ingredients, with your knowledge and more research, we have this thing in the bag!"

Sam and Samantha beamed at one another, Dean and Deanna finally looked like they understood, but Castiel and Castielle had frozen where they were. Deanna looked to her girlfriend, and understanding dawned on her face.

"Oh."

"Yep." Castiel bit the words, looking at nothing. Dean and Sam looked at one another, thoroughly bewildered by their counterparts – and Castiel's – reactions.

"What is it?" Sam asked. "Are we missing something here?"

The three women looked at the angel, who was stock still, not looking at anyone. Castielle stood up and placed a hand on his arm.

"We don't have to discuss this right now," she said gently. Castiel snapped out of his daze – he'd been focusing on a single dust particle, falling through the air, catching the light – and was distressingly brought back to reality.

"It's fine. I'm not sure how long I'll be here after, but my…..I….I can't be in the way of fixing this. Not when I caused it." He hung his head. Dean frowned.

"What the fuck are you guys talking about?"

Castielle exhaled through her nose and turned to him with a scowl on her face.

"As you know, there were three key ingredients that allowed Metatron to lock everyone out of Heaven."

Dean sat in the nearest chair, resigning himself to another lesson.

"Yeah. Cas' Grace, Nephillim blood, and a Cupid Bow, right?"

She gave him a pointed look, and Dean was reminded of Cas – but then, she _was_ Cas, so he supposed that made sense.

"Please do not interrupt. Yes, those were the ingredients. However, they all had one element in common: Love."

At Dean and Sam's raised eyebrows, Samantha joined in.

"A Cupid's Bow – what causes people unable to find their soulmate without assistance find love. Nephillim blood – the product of love between an angel and a human. And…." She trailed off, side-eying Castiellle and Deanna, and Sam suddenly understood. Dean, devoted to being stubbornly ignorant of anything that would complicate his life even further, did not.

"And what?"

"The Grace of an Angel in love with a Human." Castielle whispered.

There was dead silence as Dean processed this. Castiel turned and strode from the room, coat flapping behind him. The sound of him climbing the stairs to the door was heard, and then the sound of the bunker door opening and closing, before the faint flutter of wings.

* * *

**AN: Ehhh sorry for the shit quality and how short it was, I have a horrible headache and yeah. Been super busy. Please leave reviews and tell me what you think.**

**eboncat - Your reviews make me so happy you have no idea :3 and Cas would have so many nightmares in canon as a human because of all the crap he's had and I just know Dean being there would help and it hurts that it isn't happening ;_; THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING DESPITE BEING HALF ASLEEP YOUR DEDICATION LEAVES ME IN AWE. And I had so much fun with my sister :D ahh thanks again haha**

**OnyxDay - I don't know what to say except I couldn't agree more, really.**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: This chapter is also disgustingly short. That is because I updated my Novak vs Winchester fic a day late, and also uploaded a oneshot to my AO3 account. Sorry. But it's on time!**

* * *

Chapter 9

"Cas! Come on, man, we need to talk about this!" Dean scuffed at the ground with his foot angrily. He'd been standing outside for friggin' _hours_ – all afternoon – now, refusing to go inside until Castiel came back. "You're being really immature, you know." He flopped down onto the grass and huffed to himself.

"Dean, you gotta come inside at some point," Sam said, emerging from the bunker. Dean scowled.

"Not until Cas comes back. He's acting like a damn child!"

"Yeah, I wonder why!"

Dean craned his neck, peering up so that he was able to see Sam's face. "The hell is that supposed to mean?!"

"Oh, come _on_, Dean!" Sam sat down next to his older brother, exasperated. "If you were him, an angel who's been through what he has, and you were in love with….well. You. And your feelings had just been broadcast to everyone who ever meant something to you, what would you do?"

Dean was silent.

"That's what I thought." Sam sighed. "Dean, give him some space, okay? He's not human, he doesn't know how to be rejected. He probably….hell, I'm willing to bet he doesn't even know how to not be in love with you anymore, and he's probably trying to achieve just that."

"But I….." Dean stuttered into silence. Sam raised an eyebrow. "I don't ….want…..him to not…." He mentally cursed at himself for not being able to say what he meant. He took a deep breath. "I don't want him to not be in love with me," he clarified.

Sam opened his mouth before closing it again.

"If he's in love with me, it means it's okay for me to be in love with him." Dean finished his sentence staring at his shoes. He heard Sam exhale with a whoosh before getting up and going back inside. However, there was no familiar flutter of wings, no addictive gravelly tones saying solemnly "hello, Dean."

Dean closed his eyes and resigned himself to sleeping outside.

* * *

He awoke a few hours later, a weight hitting his stomach. He blearily looked down to see the keys to the Impala resting on him, and glanced up at Sam's impassive expression.

"I tracked his GPS. He's at the bar down the road."

Dean didn't need to be told twice.

* * *

The bar wasn't packed, and Dean was able to spot the easily recognisable messy dark hair covering the back of the angel's head. He strode over, heart in his throat, and sat down across from Castiel. When he looked up, Castiel was staring straight at him, lips pressed together in a firm line and eyes rimmed with red. Several empty beer bottles lay on the table. Dean sighed, and chose to focus his attention on the lean fingers gripping the half-empty bottle in front of him.

"Are you in love with me, Cas?"

The fingers tightened their grip. Dean took a deep breath.

_This is it._

_No going back._

_Fuck._

_I can't do this._

_Yes I can._

_FUCK._

_What have I got to lose?_

He raised his eyes to look at the angel across the table from him, the angel who had sacrificed everything, given everything, for Dean and his brother again and again without asking for anything in return. The angel who had loved him selflessly, and was breaking before his very eyes at the mere idea of Dean not reciprocating those feelings.

_Fuck that sideways._

"Cause, you know, if you do…." The corner of Dean's mouth quirked up. "That'd be the best damn news of my life."

Castiel's careful facial composition broke, and he let out a small, desperate gasp of joyless laughter, head ducking down before rising back up to meet Dean head on.

"Don't toy with me, Dean. If I wanted, I could very well smite you for such lies."

Dean leaned back in his chair. "Well, that wouldn't be a smart thing to do. Firstly, knowing my luck I'd just come back to life or start haunting your ass. You can't get rid of me that easily. Secondly, how the hell can you not realise how I feel, man?"

Castiel froze.

"What?"

Dean cleared his throat. "I said, how can you not realise how I feel? You know me better than I do most of the time. I'm an idiot, okay? I don't know how to…I don't know how to be in love, Cas. I didn't know what I was feeling was love. It took this shitstorm for me to get it. You could've told me, you know. In case you didn't realise, I'm not the brightest when it comes to feelings."

Castiel simply stared at him in shock, and Dean reached out a tentative hand to curl around the hand gripping the bottle.

"Cas, I'm not saying this is gonna be perfect. I'm not promising a happy ending, because past experience has taught me that I'm gonna get anything but. I'm saying I love you too, you oblivious angel, and I want you and me to give this a try because I don't know how to not want you. Okay?"

Castiel still didn't say a word, and Dean began to worry.

_Ah shit I broke the angel._

_I'm going to Hell again, aren't I?_

_Yep._

But then Castiel's hand moved, and Dean stared at it as the lean fingers twisted and gripped his. He looked back up, hardly daring to believe it when he saw the full, genuine smile on Castiel's face.

Directed at _him._

At _Dean_.

He gave a watery smile back, slightly shocked to find that his eyes were damp, and stood up, still gripping Castiel's hand like it was the anchor tying him to earth. Which, if he thought about it, it was.

"Come on, Cas. Let's go home."

* * *

The drive back was largely quiet, with the softly muted sounds of Led Zeppelin's "Bring it on Home" playing. Dean reached across the seat, and his hand found Castiel's. As if designed for one another, their hands fit together perfectly, and Dean gave Castiel's hand a small squeeze. Out the corner of his eye, he saw Castiel smile as if unable to help himself, and a smile touched his lips in response. Soon enough, the pair of them were laughing. At themselves, at how long it had taken for them to reach this point, at their own blind stupidity.

For those few minutes, suspended in time, they were happy.

* * *

When they got back, everyone had gone to bed. The pair of them looked at each other.

"Do you wanna sleep in my room?" Dean blurted out. At the look on Castiel's face, he quickly added, "to sleep, man. I don't wanna…..I can't screw this up by jumping in too soon, you know? And I wouldn't ask that of you. Just come and sleep. In my room. Is that okay?"

"That would be lovely, Dean."

As they undressed and climbed into bed, Dean refusing to acknowledge the shiver of desire that ran through him at the mere sight of Castiel's naked back, both of them ignored the glaringly obvious.

They still hadn't talked about Castiel needing sleep when an angel shouldn't.

They still hadn't talked about his need for food.

Once they were in bed, curling into one another, Dean spoke softly.

"We need to talk about it, Cas. About the sleeping, and the food, and what the hell we're gonna do with our doppelgangers and Metatron and Abbadon. Not right now, but we need to."

He felt Castiel nodded, and drifted off to sleep, circled by Castiel's strong arms and holding Castiel close in return.

* * *

**AN: Like I said, short. I don't really have enough time to add more and make it better quality writing, so this is what you're getting. Ugh. Anyway.**

**Review responses: **

**Guest - I updated on time! Which counts as soon, I guess, because I have other fics on the go at the same time as this. And thank you! **

**OnyxDay - I honestly couldn't agree more, I hope they're slightly less idiotic here.**

**mattdamony - THAT REVIEW WAS ALSO PERFECT THANK YOU VERY MUCH**

**eboncat - eep thank you! And I'm glad the length wasn't a bother, although it slightly annoyed me. I made up for it to myself by writing 2K of porn for my other fic 'Stars' the next day. Good fun. **

**Thank you everyone for your continued support! Please leave reviews!**


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